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Le désir de l'ordre est en même temps désir de mort, parce que la vie est perpétuelle violation de l'ordre. - Milan Kundera (source and context at http://www.gilles-jobin.org/citations/?P=k&au=203)

From an email that keeps going around:

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
– Winston Churchill

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure.
– Clarence Darrow

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary.
– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

Ive had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasnt it.
– Groucho Marx

I didnt attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it.
– Mark Twain

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
– Oscar Wilde

I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend ... if you have one.
– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
followed by Churchills response:
Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is
one.
– Winston Churchill

I feel so miserable without you; its almost like having you here.
– Stephen Bishop

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
– John Bright

He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.
– Samuel Johnson

He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.
– Paul Keating

He had delusions of adequacy.
– Walter Kerr

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?
– Mark Twain

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
– Mae West

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
– Oscar Wilde

Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a dinner party,
"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
"Churchill replied, Madam, if I were your husband I would drink it!"